Ladies and gentlemen, seekers of vitality and long life! Are you troubled by aches? Afflicted by malaise? Burdened by the unfortunate inconvenience of mortality? Fret not!
The Elixir of the Pharaohs is here to restore your strength, rejuvenate your spirit, and, dare I say, imbue you with the very essence of the ancients! Sourced exclusively from the Grand Tombs of Egypt, this miraculous remedy has been endorsed by the most respected apothecaries of London.
Cures ailments of every sort!
✔ Stiff joints? Gone.
✔ Epilepsy? Erased.
✔ Melancholy ? Vanished!
But act quickly, dear patrons! The sands of time wait for no man, and neither do our suppliers in Cairo. Secure your bottle of longevity before supplies run dry.
? DISCLAIMER: Side effects may include dry mouth, joint stiffness, fatigue, dizziness, blurred vision, sensitivity to light, shortness of breath, brittle nails, muscle weakness, chills, excessive thirst, pale or ashen skin, mild confusion, occasional numbness, loss of appetite, increased forgetfulness, unexplained drowsiness, persistent sluggishness, difficulty concentrating, and a growing detachment from the mortal world. In rare cases, users may experience inexplicable organ displacement, spontaneous embalming, and an overwhelming sense of impending doom.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Size guide
| |
LENGTH (inches) |
WIDTH (inches) |
CHEST (inches) |
| XS |
27 |
16 ½ |
31-34 |
| S |
28 |
18 |
34-37 |
| M |
29 |
20 |
38-41 |
| L |
30 |
22 |
42-45 |
| XL |
31 |
24 |
46-49 |
| 2XL |
32 |
26 |
50-53 |
| 3XL |
33 |
28 |
54-57 |
| 4XL |
34 |
30 |
58-61 |
| 5XL |
35 |
31 |
62-65 |
| |
LENGTH (cm) |
WIDTH (cm) |
CHEST (cm) |
| XS |
68.6 |
42 |
78.7-86.4 |
| S |
71.1 |
45.7 |
86.4-94 |
| M |
73.7 |
50.8 |
96.5-104.1 |
| L |
76.2 |
55.9 |
106.7-114.3 |
| XL |
78.7 |
61 |
116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL |
81.3 |
66 |
127-134.6 |
| 3XL |
83.8 |
71.1 |
137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL |
86.4 |
76.2 |
147.3-155 |
| 5XL |
89 |
78.7 |
157.5-165 |
